Writer's photography

I was having a conversation with someone and they asked me : " how was your 2023?". The only thing I could say was: "it was shitty." The person was taken aback and wondered why. They even mentioned if their presence in my life did anything to change that and I had to think about it harder. It was not the people who made it shitty. Their presence didn't change the outcome of how my year played out in my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for this year because it made me realize that it's okay to be alone. It's okay to walk through life by yourself. It made me realize just how strong I can be on my own. It was great learning about myself in that way. The reason why I said it was " shitty" was because I was/still am going through a transition and I have yet to fully get a grip on all the changes. I know what I need to do but this cannot happen overnight because there are things in the background that needs to be solidified before it ...

While on vacation, all I could feel was disappointment that my garden didn't sprout. One day, I decided to go to my backyard and clean it up a little bit. I had received bad news and I just wanted to do something to help me process those emotions. When I went to my garden, I saw that my tomatoes sprouted. I was so happy. I wasn't expecting that. I then began cleaning my garden and realized that there were more than 2 tomatoes that sprouted. That moment of happiness turned into guilt once I realized, I didn't get to take care of it the proper way. I needed to remove all leafy suckers beneath the first fruit so they won't stop the development of the fruit. Had I just been more patient... This brings me to the question: "How's my garden?"  You know, there is a lesson in everything. Watching as my tomatoes sprouted when I could of sworn there was nothing else left in the ground, reminded me of how my spiritual journey is going and just how much I am fighting t...

This time, last year (2022), I went on leave from work. I was burnt out! I remember one day watching a video of someone in their beautiful garden and I went into a rabbit hole. For days on end, I watched people plant and harvest. There were videos of people giving advises on: " how to have a healthy garden ", " what to do to keep plant eating bugs away ", " How to fertilize your soil so that you have healthy looking fruits and vegetables ". You know? gems that made gardening look easy, fun and beautiful. I was so fascinated! One particular advise I vividly remember was a lady showing off her beautiful garden and saying : " planting is trials and error until you get it right. ". It made me giggle but that stuck with me.  My leave was in fall/winter and I couldn't plant anything. So I made a note in my journal to learn how to plant in 2023. I've heard many people say that you need to have a green thumb but personally, I think it's hered...

 I work for an investments and insurance company and I get to speak with all kinds of people. The calm ones, annoyed ones, slow ones, fast ones. And on top of that, I get to hear different stories. Happy ones, some confusing ones, some bad ones etc... My favorite types of clients by far and let me not lie because I used to absolutely dislike them; Are the ones who call for help. Tell you what the problem is and as you are about to help them, they start speaking over you by trying to figure out the same issue they called to get help for.  Example:  Client : " Hi, I'm calling because anytime I enter my password, it doesn't work and I'm not receiving a password reset to my email either. Can you help me?" Me: " Absolutely, could you read to me exactly what it says on your computer? I think I know the reason why you're having troubles." Client reads and I figure the issue out. As I'm about to help them, they say : " O h! maybe if I go to this opt...

I travelled back home to the Democratic Republic of Congo after 17 years of living in Canada. It was amazing and I cannot wait to talk about it. While I was there, I found myself making executive decisions. It was uh … very new LOL! hear me out . One day, I had to go run errands with my mother. We had to go buy fabric and food that we were going to prepare that day and a few other miscellaneous things. When we got to the fabric store, I felt like a kid in a candy store. There were so many patterns, colors and so many styles to choose from. Man, at some point I froze! I wanted them all. It was an exhilarating feeling honestly. To my people who sow, you know what I'm talking about. It was FUN! As moments went on, I wanted someone to just tell me what to choose and get it over with. So I picked up my phone and begin dialing my friend's number. Right before I hit the call button, I very loudly heard: "make an executive decision NOW!". It was so loud that I looked around. ...

It's the end of my 20's and I'm closing it off with a bang. This year I decided to bring a few people together to celebrate what is essentially the end of an era; And because of this, I set up my camera and gathered a few testimonies from those who were there. There was so much love in the room.  I just want to say thank you.  to those who love me.  to those that watched me grow and change and evolve. Thank you, to those who went through the journey with me. Good and bad. Thank you to God for preserving me. Happy birthday Gloria. We made it to 29!

 " A lonely day is God's way of saying He wants to spend some quality time with you" - Criss Jami One thing about turning 28 made me realize that I had to spend a lot of days on my own. And when I was surrounded by people, loneliness was a feeling I felt often. That made me wonder a lot. The people I was around, I loved them. They made me feel less alone, they actually made my days better; But why was I still feeling alone? What was this weird grief I felt that always brought me back to unbearable loneliness ?  I remember having a conversation with my friend one day and laying it all out to her because I kept getting lightbulb moments where the message was as clear as day that the season I was currently in was a season of isolation .  It took me awhile to recognize that. The feeling of grief that kept lingering was a reminder that my life is changing. I'm no longer living life as I was before. Reality set in when I was in my room not in need of anybody but God and boo...

 The day I turned 28 I invited freedom. It was as though for the first time in my life, I genuinely cared about myself and by this I mean, speaking up for myself, rooting for myself, not letting anyone's opinion dictate my choices and actions. The day I turned 28, I accepted me. Flaws and all. The 28th chapter is coming to an end and I'm reminiscing on a few things. good and bad and I hope you process some of these things with me. You ready ?   I went through my early twenties playing it safe. I was - still somehow am -very sheltered. A lot of things that I learned are either self taught or were done out of rebellion and that felt like freedom to me at the time. Freedom with little to no consequences because I didn't know better. Plus, I was too naïve. but when we fast forward to my late twenties, I realized that actions have consequences. Some serious ones at that. Twenty eight's freedom came with putting the puzzle pieces together. There were things I thought I knew ...

 " Everything is connected. Are you able to pinpoint where the connection happened?" - Gloria Mwange I find it quite entertaining when I come back to myself and can pinpoint where a connection happened.  I especially love when I realize how big or small an interaction was that taught me something I never knew and opened up a portal that leads me to an answer I've always had questions about.  Hey friend,  How have you been? have you drank you water today? LOL! Well, I did.  Lately, I've been positioned strategically to receiving answers to questions I've been asking for quite some time. I've been that annoying child to God who refuses to stop asking " why, when where and how?" until I get the answer that makes sense. Walk with me ... At the beginning of the year, I told myself that I will dive headfirst and take chances no matter what. I promised myself not to stop at the first NO but to keep knocking on doors until another one opened. So far, I have ...

"Once you have a clear image of what you want, align yourself with it and go get it." - Gloria Mwange This year I am determined to walk into rooms I so desperately avoided due to insecurity, anxiety and not knowing my worth. I have a clear vision as to where I am headed and this time to break the ice, I bought tickets to the Black history Month Gala 2023 hosted by Ottawa U students. It was an eye opening celebration because there were so many people my age, older and also younger who came to celebrate blackness!  This event included the Honorable Michaelle Jean who delivered an amazing speech regarding our community. She reminded us how important it is being around our community and how it lifts us up.  Mr. Terrence Floyd the brother of the late George Floyd who was unfortunately a victim of police brutality. Mr. Terrence Floyd reminded us that it doesn't just happen to others and is raising awareness that police brutality should end! Mr. Wes Hall a very well known busine...

 Hey you! How are you? tell me, have you ever heard of the two streets analogy ? No ? Let me explain what that is.  You're walking down a street and there is a neighborhood on your left and your right. Because you cannot walk in the middle of the street, you choose to walk on the left side of the neighborhood. Instead of paying attention to the houses on the left, you are too busy paying attention to the houses on the right. But it's only when you go walking on the right side do you now see what you were missing out on. The neighborhood on the left were probably very well decorated but because the only thing that caught your eyes were houses on the right neighborhood, you missed out on a better view.  I was very emotional this week and I couldn't pin point what was making me so sad. I had an idea but I was avoiding dealing with it because it was so miniscule, it didn't need to be on the forefront of my mind. I started lacking sleep, getting snappy at the littlest things...

 "Change is scary but inevitable." I finally found my journal! I missed writing in it. I usually write in my notes on my phone when a thought pops up but I absolutely love the feel of a pen between my fingers gliding though paper. I feel like it freezes the moment for me and makes me remember what I wrote about. Yes, I found my journal and read through it today. One particular note made me smile. It was titled, " words of affirmation ". I remembered exactly the moment I wrote that note. I wrote to my future self. I wrote it already imagining myself walking in THAT purpose. Reading that note made me want to share something with you today.  I am writing today to congratulate me. I don't have the habit of acknowledging my milestones. I notice other's accomplishments and even tell them to celebrate each milestones and not just brush it off by starting a new project and yet ME ..? It's as though congratulations never exists in my world. crazy right ?  Well, t...

" Every decisions or non-decisions shifts the universe in a whole new direction. " Life has been showing me where I'm being led to. And, I noticed that one route we're taking this season is the route of accepting rejection. How do I process rejection? Do I think that life owes me anything ? what decisions will I take when I don't get my way? Since I was old enough to do it, I programmed my brain to avoid rejections at all cost. Like, I've always been able to think 20 steps ahead to know that if I put myself in this situation, it will play out like this. And once I figure out that the outcome will not play in my favor, I'll abort the mission swiftly. This cost me so many opportunities because I was limiting my abilities to hypothetical situations that could of turned out positive had I been bold enough to face my fears. You still with me ?  So, this year, I told myself : " whatever, let's do it! what's the worst that can happen right? ". H...

WELCOME TO 2023  May this year bring you love, joy and an abundance of blessings. May you be disciplined and at peace with everything in your life. May you be spared from anything that will derail you from your goals. May you be your happiest. May 2023 be THAT year for you. Dear God,  thank you for bringing us to the new year. I pray that you protect us. I pray that you have your hand all over everything that we are anticipating this year.  Amen!