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 WILL YOU MARY ME? "There are plenty Saturdays left. One of them will be your turn" - Marguerite Kamona Aye, we've gotten to the age where our parents are expecting grandchildren. Wake up! I'm only 27 and every once in a while, mom comes up to me and asks: "do you you have a man yet?". There's nothing more pressing than that. Especially when she adds a little " I'm about to die soon, how come I have no grandchildren? do you not see how so and so's family are getting married? let alone, engaged?. Will my house ever celebrate?" I sometimes get the urge to shout at her but I come back to my senses. First things fist, she's my mother. Secondly, WHERE ARE HER GRANDCHILDREN? As an immigrant daughter, there are expectations. As a Congolese woman, by a certain age, you are supposed to have a husband (wife), children, a house and everything else in order.  I have none. Good job Gloria! Dear God, Sustain me. Sustain my dreams. Sustain my bein...

FRENEMIES. " Do not let anyone recruit you into hating someone that did nothing to you." - Anonymous. So …we meet again! I'm sure by the quote, you guessed it … we're addressing friendships! Oh come back here, don't close the page just hear me out.  See, not only did life and love have it's foot on my windpipe this year but, friendships did too. I sometimes sit around and wonder; what do people say about me? what is it that I don't know that people know about me? good or bad. I don't know if it'll bring me comfort or send me into a mental breakdown but my curiosity just takes me there sometimes. LOL oh to be a fly on the wall! I know … I know. Let me re-focus. This year, I lost friends. Good friends at that. It has me wondering though, am I the problem? I must be because all these people are walking away and I'm the common denominator. So what am I doing wrong? It's a different sentiment losing good friends. It's a nasty feeling because...

  CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. " That was your karma. Accept it and be glad it happened now. Dwell on it but don't stay there for too long." - anonymous I've always considered myself the kind of person who sees things coming from a mile away. It's the overthinker in me. I always try to see different ways in which a situation can play out and take the route that will least hurt. Not the best way to do things because, sometimes, by playing out a situation you end up ruining the end and instead of having a happy ending, you get a disaster. This year, Not only did I get myself into trouble with the law, I also got my heart in trouble. LOL! Oh don't roll your eyes, you knew this was coming. ANYWAYS … I have to admit, I was living my best life. But the more the year went on, the more my brain and my heart stopped communicating. I was so caught up in my own world that I broke my heart in the process. This left a bad taste in my mouth.  See, people enter your life for a rea...

  SOBRIETY.  - Life is not written in pencil. You do not just erase and restart. Everything you do is documented in permanent ink." - Raphael K. NK. Mwange I was about 12-13 years old when I first heard my father say this and I never understood why he'd always say it. This quote is so vivid in my head and life now that I had to give him credit. His words never fell on bad soil.  This year, I was caught up in a situation. Hence my brother's speech on episode 1. I was in my car and was stopped and charged. Not my proudest moment I must say but none the less an experience of life reminding me that it doesn't just happen to others.  PS: If you're not sober. Do not operate a vehicle. This small quote has a lot that comes with it. Death. Arrest. Jail time. Loss of another's life and more. Please be safe! When that happened, only one thing came to mind " my mother is going to flip !" . I didn't think of anybody else besides her. Mind you, I AM GROWN! at ...

  THE CHOICE IS YOURS . "Learn to say NO! saying NO is your right and no one can take that away from you. No one will put you in a bottle for saying no either." - Eddy Mwange Welcome to a project/series I've been working on for awhile and am now introducing to the world. I took a long time releasing it because I was still stuck in the judgmental phase. I kept telling myself : " what if you're judged on the stories you decide to tell? are you going to delete them out of shame or keep them because they're a reminder that you've learned something you didn't know before?" So I came to the conclusion of telling my stories and sharing what I've learned in hopes for it to help someone else.  I was conversing with my brother one day. Hold on … let me rephrase that … I was getting LECTURED by my brother one day after picking me up from the police station. Yes. You read that right. That day I was so quiet. I was shaking. I was on the verge of crying an...

 " There comes a point in your life when you need to stop reading other people's books and write your own" - Albert Einstein The number 7 is a number of completion and turning 27 is a gift I never thought I'd receive in my entire life. I can already hear my friends say " Ah here she goes crying again!!" Lol But hear me out, I don't cry because I'm sad, I cry because I'm overwhelmed. Especially when I sit and take in how much has happened in just 365 days. It's crazy !! I went from almost losing my life, to losing friends and losing family members, to losing jobs and losing opportunities and overall just losing hope. What was the point of constantly having series of unfortunate events? It made no sense ! But the turn around is so mind bugling because I gained another year of life and made life long friends, we had a new addition to the family, I started my dream Job and there are amazing opportunities knocking at my door. All this to say,  Fat...

 " Set your boundaries early on. Healthy boundaries help you see where the blurred lines are and teaches you to retrace them accordingly." - Gloria Mwange I have boundary issues. I either don't know where they are and I overstep or I cannot handle them when they're set for me. I know you're probably reading this and saying: " She only comes on here once a year, says what she needs to say and then vanishes like nothing happened. I bet she does it on purpose!"... okay you're probably right but you don't have to be so loud about it. sheesh ! LOL Hear me out though. I'd like to talk about boundaries today and how important they are. I'm talking about them because this season of my life is called " No Gloria, you don't have to take that. It's not okay! ". Full disclosure, I have tendencies of going through life saying " it's okay " to EVERY...THING. Most times, it's to please others and other times, it's...

 " You remind me of the sun " - Gloria Mwange As I take in the scenery. Inhale fresh air. Watch as people walk. The way how trees and water obey; I can honestly say ... you are a great God. Thank you for the reminder. Thank you for allowing me to see another day.  Thank you for making me exist. I haven't been happy, but you make sure that I'm reminded of the little things. You make sure to tell me to pay attention to silence. Dear God, My heart is full.  Thank you.

Welcome back.  I  know you keep escaping me. It's okay though, I understand. how have you been ? I know you don't want to hear this but ... take your time. sincerely, you're embarrassed about what the world knows about you and what you have learned about yourself. You live and you learn. Apply what you're learning. You don't always have to get even.

" When you feel your heart hurting like that, Pray. You belong to Him, Either something is happening or it's about to happen" - Agnès Safi Moni I took a long time forgiving God for the things that happened. I was so upset with Him. I held a lot of things to heart which brought me to drinking more and more. To not caring as much as I did. To not realizing that me holding on to anger only hurt me more.  But even in my moments of dislike I still thanked him. I knew I couldn't do anything without him but I was just giving attitude because I thought I knew better. Follow me ... I was conversing with a friend one day and they told me this : " you wanted God to take you out in January. He didn't because He still has purpose for you. You made it to the end of the year, just be thankful man!" At that moment, I felt so ungrateful. I kept holding on to one thing. One situation made me blind from all the goods He's done. Dear God, In my moments of weakness, you ...

Dear God, although my heart is broken and I haven't spoken to you about it all,  you still remind me that I am here for a reason. Today, I'm grateful.  Thank you. Sincerely, take me there.

 " Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same result " DEAR YOU, Why do you keep repeating the same mistakes expecting a different result ?  Why do you feel the need to over explaining yourself when you can let people assume what they want to? You haven't learned your lesson yet and that is something you need to work on.

 " New year, same thing" - Gloria Mwange   Happy new year to you all. It was a tough one, but we made it and we can only be grateful for the gift of life.  What have you planned for the year 2021 ? Dear God,  Thank you. 

 " Grief is not linear. Some days it is completely manageable and other days it leaves you in shambles." - Unknown We had an interesting 2020. It was hard on all of us and as the year ended, the thing we all were thankful for was family and simply being alive.  December 25th, I lost my nephew. I didn't know how to process it because sad news usually takes time for me to accept. My holidays were to say the least, a funeral.  As I'm writing this, I am at a loss for words because just when I thought I will make it to 2021 with everyone, I had to lose someone. This put into perspective that it doesn't just happen to others and that it can happen to you at any given time and you should always be prepared.  Throughout this process of grieving, I've had friends whom I mentioned the news to and they made the process easier to manage. I'd like to thank my friends. The laughter they brought to keep me from crying and the hugs I received to remind me that I am not al...