ZOOM OUT

"it's only by zooming out that you get the full picture." - Gloria M.

God works in mysterious ways. Two weeks into my sobriety journey, I was still torn between quitting and just taking a break from drinking. During that time, I kept asking God to give me an answer. I remember being at Costco and stopping on the condiment isle when a woman came up to me and said : " omg I love your boots! those kinds of Uggs aren't sold anymore. Where did you get yours?" ; I was caught off guard but flattered so I said : " I know right! I'm not quite sure where my mother found these but, they really come in handy when there's too much slush on the ground." We both laughed. Then, she asked me a very interesting question. She said :"What is your goal this year?" 

Imagine a stranger asking you this very personal question. My face tends to speak before my mouth does so I kind of gave her an apprehensive look like: " you're in my business girl!". I grew up hearing about "evil eye" so telling someone my goals before they happen was a definite NO! but her question felt so genuine and innocent. I told her :" My goal this year is to build a close relationship with God, to stop drinking and live a sober life." The moment I uttered those words, I felt so liberated. I didn't believe when I started my sober journey that I was going to make it past 2 weeks but the second I said it out loud, something shifted. 

From that day onwards, she's been a reminder of positivity in my life and when she asked me to do her hair one day, I gladly agreed. As we were conversing, She asked me :" What is the thing that stresses you out the most and what brings you joy?" this was based on a conversation she had at work and she was just expanding the subject. She was interested in what my answer was going to be. As we were sharing our answers, I realized something and I thought I'd share it with you.

It is so easy to live without ever zooming out and looking at the bigger picture. I told her : " The thing that brings me joy is living life through a sober lens. For as long as I can remember, I've lived a very blurry life and only enjoyed the most mundane things; But ever since I made the decision to quit drinking, I notice when I breathe, I notice birds chirping in the morning. I am present during conversations. I enjoy gardening. The little things in life matter. I am very intentional about things. I do not operate on emotions alone but I think before I speak." I went to the extent of saying : " I can't remember the last time I felt debilitating anxiety in public. I can feel genuine happiness. It's not forced." That moment, I realized that this is the second time God is using this person to make me acknowledge the miracle happening in my day to day. Had that question never been asked, I would of never zoomed out and looked at the bigger picture. I wouldn't of acknowledged the progress.

I know that our day to days have so much going on that it's hard to take a minute and pause But I encourage doing that every once in a while. Even if you don't say it out loud, the simple acknowledgement goes a long way. Be proud of what you've been able to accomplish and how far you've come. It all becomes a part of a beautiful story in the end. 

Dear God, 

People do not come into our lives randomly and you have proven it over and over again. I thank you for this new connection. There is a purpose in you introducing a new character in this chapter of my life and I embrace this change. God, may I never get too caught up in what's happening in my life that I forget to zoom out and look at how far you've brought me. Set a reminder for me to always be able to gather myself and simply thank you for bringing me thus far.