Find your altar

I am struggling to find the positioning of my altar
I am walking and cannot remember the road I used to take to get to it
and each time I recalculate, I get lost.

There were places I used to sit and write about you on the altar,
I had questions only you were able to answer.
I conversed with you often through writing
but each time I dare hold my pen now, the ink dries.

There were places I used to go and find you,
places we met and came to conclusions about things,
Though often times,
words were bigger than I could of imagined,
you were there and understood exactly what my heart was full of.
Now I go there and I can't seem to feel your presence as I once did.

When we first spoke I was rooted in your word,
and you were the anchor that held me together
now I stutter and became more unbalanced than a dry leaf
and I can't seem to refocus on you who kept me together.

I lost the rhythm in which I used to play the drum to get your attention
the way in which the cords of my bass used to make sense in your ears
the way in which my pen danced on the sheet of paper as I wrote the most beautiful melodies to exalt your magnitude.

Receive this cry for help on my behalf,
none the less you make everything work for my good
for I still put my trust in you and
refuse to give up the haunt.

I am at the altar and the only thing I am able to tell you is to forgive me for the mess,
Your mercies that overflow each time I find joy in writing makes me realize that
you are in the center and all I could do is simply be,
scrabble and obtain the highest level of prayer that exalts who you are.