KALEIDOSCOPE.
" everything doesn't have to hurt in order for you to deserve it " - Unknown I started a new job not too long ago and on September 27th 2019, at exactly 3:05 pm, my heartbeat increased. I looked at my fitness watch and it went from a 70 bpm to 120 bpm and increasing. I didn't understand why but I just knew that my body was over taken by fear. Where did this come from? I have no idea. what triggered it? I don't know. I just knew that I suddenly became really cold and everything around me begin to fade. I was more in my head than I was in the present. Every seconds that went by, my heartbeat increased. At that moment, I feared failing. I feared always being the last choice and never the first one. Being left for someone better ( there always is ). I feared not making my mother proud. I feared not being authentic. I feared for my health and mental state. I feared not being okay and never making it to where I need to go. I feared having a family of my own but not...